Cellular
A. warned me about The Clearing. "Robert Redford and Willem DeFoe talking in the forest for hours ... I wanted to shoot myself." It was a deeply sucky movie, not least because Redford was inexplicably playing Michael Douglas's Aggrieved Rich White Man® character. And we had to sit through hours of Redford doing deep schtick about how he was Strong and DeFoe was Pathetic. I agreed with A.Cellular got what was more-or-less the same setup (OK, not exactly the same) perfectly right. You can't really believe Kim Basinger, on the phone to the surfer dude who's going to help save her family, when he asks why she's been kidnapped. "Do you have money?" he asks. "No!" she cries. Well, they're not after the money, but lady, look at your house and your dead housekeeper. You've got money. More importantly, you can kill two kidnappers in close hand combat, and you don't shy away from using your special seventh-grade biology-teacher knowledge of the circulatory system to do it.Kidnapper, rich kidnapee, have at it. Spare me the drama and bring on the hurt. And the dopey surfer-boy.posted by Josh K-sky at
6:38 PM
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